§ Department VIII

The Treaty of the Tepid Tap

The Historic Peace Accord between Towels & Sponges

TREATY OF THE TEPID TAP Article I · Article II · Article III General Suds Sir Terry confused goldfish
OFFICIAL TREATY DOCUMENT

Signed in the presence of a Very Confused Goldfish and a Representative from the Ministry of Plumbing.

Terms of Surrender
  1. I. Demilitarized Soap Dishes: No sponge shall occupy a porcelain dish for more than three lunar cycles without a written permit from a Face-Cloth.
  2. II. Shared Absorbency Rights: Towels agree to handle the "Dignified Drying," while Sponges retain the "Grime-Based Scrubbing."
  3. III. The Great Exchange: One high-quality Tea-Towel shall be traded for a Luffa of equal existential dread.
  4. IV. Non-Aggression Pact: No sponge shall intentionally "drip" on a dry towel, and no towel shall "snag" a sponge's porous underside.

Signed: A large, yellow, soapy sponge-print that smells faintly of lemon-scented detergent.

Witnessed by: A damp patch on the ceiling.