§ Department IV

The Official Sanatorium Anthem

To be hummed in a monotonous drone during the 1400rpm spin cycle

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬
§ Verse I

The Anthem

Oh, we're towels of the Empire, once damp and disgraced,
By badgers and Belgians and tea-stains defaced!
But now we are starched till we're stiff as a board,
In the laundry of justice, we praise the Damp Lord!

§ Chorus

Wring out the memories! Scrub off the shame!
If you've seen too much, you've only yourself to blame!
We don't want your fluff, and we don't want your grit,
Just hang in the cupboard and try not to… (Dramatic Pause) …DRIP!

Conductor's Note:
The dramatic pause before "DRIP" must last no fewer than three seconds. Any towel who fails to maintain adequate dramatic tension will be removed from the choir and reassigned to the linen cupboard. Permanently.