Admissions — Royal St. Loofah Sanatorium

1. Name of Linen

2. Thread Count at Time of Trauma

High enough to be snobbish Low enough to be transparent Non-existent (Cheesecloth)

3. Nature of the Incident (select all that apply)

Accidentally touched by a Belgian Used to dry a damp badger Witnessed a "Nudge Nudge, Wink Wink" situation in a suburban semi-detached Left in a gym bag for three lunar cycles Other (please describe on the enclosed damp napkin)

4. Are you, or have you ever been, a Flannel?

(Be honest. We will check the selvage.)

No, absolutely not. I refuse to answer without legal counsel. The selvage will speak for itself.

5. Additional Comments for the Chief Fluff-Buffer

Official Admissions

The Soggy Inquiry

Official Admissions

The Soggy Inquiry

Application Received